Whether you are in a business partnership, marriage, dating with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you would find the moment when your partner makes a promise. A promise could be a business appointment or anything else. So, there would be a possibility of your partner ignoring his or her promise. Instead of rather waiting for uncertainty from your partner, you better take an initiative to make your partner to keep his or her promises.
The most effective psychological way to get a person to keep his or her promises is to express yourself that you believe he or she is a kind of consistent person.
Saying appreciation words like “You always impressed me with your consistency!” could make a powerful psychological effect on inner consistency towards your partner. Your partner would try to be such praise you say.
Saying such words to a person makes that person becomes obliged to keep promises as we involve his or her ego. Make your consistent so that your perception towards your partner doesn’t wrong.
Since it involves a perception, it is would be better not to utter a sentence like the following.
“I doubt this would happen soon” or,
“I doubt you really want to do that for me“.
Such negative perceptions won’t make a psychological motivation. Your partner would reluctant to prove that your perception is wrong. Such words force your partner’s ego to excuse reasons to justify that why he or she doesn’t keep his or her promise.
For example, you ask someone to process some files that you would use a week later. So, don’t say, “How is it going?” Or “Why haven’t you started it?” This will give your partner a chance to defend him- or herself or even backs off.
You better say, “Sam, I really appreciate your help to process those files, I’m sure you aren’t just helping, but I can rely on you to finish it on time.”
With such negative expressions, you have wrapped your partner’s self-concept on your goal. Your partner wouldn’t say; “I’m very busy” or “I don’t like to do that“. Why? Because a person certainly doesn’t want to get a bad perception from you and he or she doesn’t want to have an inner contradiction.
Simply put, your partner doesn’t want to lose a persona as a responsible person. Additionally, knowing the persuasive communication method would be very helpful for you to get your partner to keep his or her promises.
However, positive words could make your partner moves to help you. But when you want people to keep their promises, you need to take an initiative to do the six tips listed below. You need to lay the groundwork at the beginning of asking for help.
Six Steps to Get Someone to Keep His or Her Promises
For example, you are telling a friend that your computer got crashed and he offers a help with pleasure to come next Saturday.
Maybe he offered it just to show his good attitude. So, you have to move his mind and change his past offer to be a definite promise. In this way, you can turn a vague offer into a definite and specific promise.
Step 1. Make Him to Say the Promise
If you ask it first, he will not feel bound to do that. But if he promises it, he would involve his total commitment. You can make him say a promise himself by saying to him;
“Are you really sure would like to do it?” Or “Are you serious about helping me?“. Make sure the answer sounds like
“Yes I will help you next Saturday”
Step 2. Make a Time Range
Ask him to say what time he will come or how long he will finish the job. You can say;
“Well then, what time?” And “Can you guess how long it’ll take?”
Step 3. Grow a Sense of Responsibility
You need to tell him that because he has offered to help, you have canceled another way out. Ensure also that the cancellation of his help can disrupt you. So, if he cancels an appointment without notice he would feel that he has worsened you situation than before he promised that help.
To anticipate it, you can tell him that you are going to postpone your appointment with someone else on that day.
Step 4. Touch His Heart
You need to show him that you are now dependent on his help. At this stage, you can show or tell him how important the aid is. Mention a fatal consequence that would happen to you if he cannot t keep his promise.
Step 5. Make Him Imagine
House promoters or salespersons know this technique very well. When a house salesperson is showing a home to a prospective buyer, the salesperson wants the prospective buyer to imagine being as the owner of the house.
So, when the house salesperson invites the potential buyer to walk around the house, she would ask
“Where would you put the television?“, “How about the sofa?“, and so on. As though the prospective buyer has become the owner of the house, while has not bought it yet. This selling technique is quite powerful.
In a computer repair example, you can ask; “What will you do first?“. Then, turn on the monitor immediately or check in inside the CPU first. You need to ask him to look visually what to do in what he promises.
Step 6. Oral Confirmation
End the short conversation but with an assertive oral confirmation, “So I’m waiting for the next Saturday, okay? ” The oral confirmation is really important to make your partner to keep his or her promises.
Finally, nearly before when the day, show him that you really appreciate him as he is a type of person who keeps his promise and that you are happy because he understands the meaning of friendship, responsibility, business partner, solidarity, or other similar appreciations or praises. Therefore, he strives to be like the person in what you perceive. Then, you will be amazed at his effort in helping you.